I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
