Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
