before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
