This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
