So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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