i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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