I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
