We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
