i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
