White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
