I feel like abortions should bother me more
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
