I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
