I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
