I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
