Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize