Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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