she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
