Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
