He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
