I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
