Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My bed smells like the plague
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
