this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
