It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we're so committed to being not committed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
