just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
