We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
