Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize