I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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