So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
