Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
