Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
