remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
