I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize