its not stalking. its research.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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