Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
