The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
