I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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