I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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