grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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