You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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