he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
