We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
