I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
