He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
