TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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