Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
