If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
