Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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