you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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