Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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