No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
