if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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