You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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