at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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