Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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