Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
