you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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