these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
