Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
